Day 20 - Elated

My class last night was the point of no return, the moment I waited for in this personal revolution. I have probably never felt more energized, happy, and clear-minded in a long time. Thank you Pete Guinosso for preparing an intense class, designed to move stress from the belly, and for teaching it at the dead center of this journey. It was uncomfortable at times and pretty sweaty, for the first time ever I managed to form a puddle on my mat instead of around it, which means I now have made up my mind to invest in yogitoes. While lying in savasana I experienced one of those moments of 100% pure joy. Call it psychology, crazy talk, or whatever you’d like, it was a beautiful day for my yoga practice and for my newfound equanimous form of being.

The theme for the week is Equanimity, a funny word that means sort of what it sounds like. Equanimity comes from the Latin word aequus meaning balanced, and animus meaning spirit or internal state. In the physical world we say a person has lost balance if they fall to one side or another. In the same way a person loses internal balance if they fall into one or the other of the following contrasting reactions:

• Suppression –A state of thought/feeling arises and we attempt to cope with it by stuffing it down, denying it, tightening around it, etc.
• Identification –A state of thought/feeling arises and we fixate it, hold onto it inappropriately, not letting it arise, spread and pass with its natural rhythm.

Between suppression on one side and identification on the other lies a third possibility, the balanced state of non-self-interference…equanimity. I had a hard time figuring this one out, but I think what equanimity really refers to is the way we react to things. Our approach to ourselves with non-judgment and gentleness. Most importantly, when faced with a challenge allow yourself to think and feel before you react. This will assist you in making wiser choices and eventually avoiding the bad ones that inevitably lead to guilt and shame and keep you through your washing machine of emotions. We are our own worst enemies, but we are also our best guide. Keep that in mind.